In the early chapters of the novel, after the incident in which Amir witnessed Hassan get sexually assaulted, Amir develops extreme feelings of guilt that prohibit him from being able to forgive himself. As Amir’s physical body travels about his day to day life, his mind remains in the past, unable to move on from that day in the dark alley. There are innumerable instances where Amir speaks of his desolate culpability, such as when he states, “I finally had what I wanted all those years. except now that I had it, I felt as empty as this unkept pool I was dangling my legs into”(Hosseini 85). By the time Amir had, at last, received the attention from Baba that he had been longing for years, it was far too late because the emptiness and guilt growing within him overtook any feelings of joy he might have experienced. This guilt is exactly what fueled Amir’s grudge against himself, as well as his desire to suffer at the hands of …show more content…
This further shows his burgeoning detestation towards himself because, even though he was finally getting recognition for an impressive feat, he couldn’t take his mind away from his wrongdoing in that cold alleyway. The continuous guilt that resides within Amir makes it nearly impossible for him to forgive himself, causing the concept of redemption to become outlandish. Without the ability to exonerate himself, or receive the punishment he so desperately craves, Amir is left to mentally struggle due to his misdeeds, incapable of being redeemed. In relation, Amir feels as though he deserves a cruel chastisement from Hassan in order to relieve himself of his sinfulness. As time goes on after the incident, Amir and Hassan grow apart because it becomes difficult for Amir to spend time with him without “getting a headache”(Hosseini 88). Being in the presence of Hassan is strenuous for Amir because, with the arrival of Hassan, comes the materialization of his unbearable guilt. Furthermore, to satiate this guilt, Amir constantly tries to anger Hassan so that his own actions won’t feel as