Ayers, Baum and McManus (2007) stated that irregular development occurs when early caregiver containment is insufficient or when there is major stress on development like trauma. Ruth goes through a significant amount of trauma caused by LuLing’s bitterness and frequent threats to end her own life. Ruth describes LuLing’s death threats as “earthquakes” where she will be “upended and flung about, unable to keep her balance” (Tan, 2001, p. 54). Even as an adult, her mother’s threats still “never ceased to grab her by the throat” (Tan, 2001, p. 111). Parallel to what the object relations theory advocates, LuLing has a huge influence on Ruth’s identity formation. Enduring her mother’s erratic behavior from childhood to adulthood makes Ruth a reserved person who usually opts to keep her feelings to herself. In addition, her relationship with Art deteriorates due to her over-accommodating attitude, causing Art to take her for granted (Tan, 2001, p. 21). Later, he tells Ruth—You keeps secrets inside of you. You hide (Tan, 2001, p. 387). LuLing’s depressed nature forces her to deviate from normal and healthy parenting. This drawback has a harmful effect on Ruth’s …show more content…
Although LuLing and Ruth share an unstable relationship, Ruth does integrate parts of her mother’s behavior into her own character. For example, she shares LuLing’s strong resolve to achieve her goals in life. When Ruth discovers that her mother’s memory is being ravished by dementia, she is determined to learn about LuLing’s past. She hires a translator to decipher her mother’s memoir which is written in Mandarin and tells herself that “she would ask her mother to tell her about her life. For once, she would ask. . . . She would sit down and not be in a hurry or have anything else to do” (Tan, 2001, p. 168). Ruth even moves in with LuLing to take care of her despite the fact that it will threaten her relationship with Art. Although she does not realizes it, Ruth is very much like her mother in the sense that once she sets a goal, she will not stop until she achieves