I can recall standing at my Cha Cha Nancy’s home where my great-grandmother rested quietly. Her paper thin skin was withered like the sides of a wind shaped mountain and she lay with her eyes closed, arms crossed, on a hospice bed with bars for me to climb on and inch closer. This transition of life I could not comprehend, and the pain that it brought to those I loved was engraved into my thought processes. This was expressed by my unconscious mind as I slept. I began to …show more content…
On the way to picking up my sister from work my dad explained that he was going to let my sister practice driving with her new permit. I objected due to my uncomfortability with her behind the wheel but to no avail, we began our journey. A few miles down the freeway, she hit the rumble strips. This was not something she had experienced before and her reaction was to flee. She jerked the steering wheel far to the left, at seventy miles per hour we were flying towards the median, her reconciliation was to jerk the wheel all the way back. In this moment, I withdrew beyond the “duality of subject and object” (76) into a realm of emptiness and peace. I can not recall the flipping of the vehicle, the two hundred feet that we slid upon the roof and concrete, or even my exit. This experience in the abyss was momentarily transient, an earthly treasure that grew to became eternal. I realized the Self as I passed “from fearful fragmentation to fearless fullness in the changeless whole” (80) then returned to my mind and body, hugging a woman I never met before. I looked back at the upturned car to see my father’s leg bleeding out of the window. This lit the fire of Nachiketa in me, “through the grace of the Lord of Love” (79) I was again confronted with the fear of non-existence in myself and others that reined my mind (81) since youth. I had little control over the direction of my thoughts, my senses overwhelmed me, and my once one-pointed mind was diluted with anxiety over the present situation. It wasn’t until integrating my realized Self with the unity surrounding me, that I relaxed once