"The mother of the bride should have her name at the top of the invitation," she states in her Complete Guide to the New Manners for the '90s. When both parents have divorced and remarried, she adds, the mother 's name always comes first, and her ex-husband 's name appears on the next line.
As for seating, if your parents are divorced but still get along, they should generally be seated in the first row (with significant others, of course), whether this be in a church, a synagogue or on folding chairs outdoors. In less amicable circumstances, seat your mother on one end of the first row and your father on the other. If this is still too close for comfort, ask one if he or she wouldn 't mind sitting in the second row.
While changing times have raised new questions about propriety, the very qualities that will help you answer them -- thoughtfulness, sensitivity, maturity -- are the same ones upon which strong marriages are built. In the end, good old-fashioned manners -- and kind hearts -- can be the most reliable compass for navigating all questions of