Interpersonal Communication

you make perceptual contact and later interact with the person

you test potential partner, if satisfactory, move on to intensifying the relationship

make an interpersonal commitment and later enter stage of social bonding, where you publicly reveal your relationship status

bonds holding you together begin to weaken. intrapersonal dissatisfaction is experienced and later becomes interpersonal when you discuss it with partner

you first engage in intrapersonal repair, analyzing what went wrong and perhaps what you can do to set things right

describes relationship developmetn as a process of reducing uncertainty about one another

progression of relationship along communication dimensions of breadth and depth. as it moves towards intimacy breadth and depth greaten and vise versa

relationships described as a series of opposites representing competing desires or motivations (the desire for autonomy and the desire to belong to someone)

describes relationships as interactions governed by series of rules that couple agrees to follow

you develop relationships w/others based on: physical appearance/personality, proximity, similarity

people are attracted to dissimilar others

you can increase your attractiveness (with the things like physical appearance and proximity aside) by doing things like: listen attentively, present yourself as socially equal, appear "in control", be of help to other, show respect, etc

based on economic model of profits and losses. you develop relationships that will enable you to maximize your profits
(profits, rewards, costs)

uses concepts of social exchange (profits, rewards, costs) but goes a step further. claims you develop relationships in which your ratio of rewards to costs is about equal

recognize the problem. engage in communication. conflict resolution, pose possible solutions, affirm each other

friendship

most ideal type. loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection characteristics

transitory one. friendly relationship rather than true friendship

someone you become friends with because they have special talents, skills , etc.

someone who would affirm your personal value and helpyou to recognize your attributes

someone who believes in a supportive,encouraging, and helpful manner. "find someone who helps you view yourself as worthy

someone who introduces you to new ideas and new ways of seeing the world and helps you to expand your worldview "being friends w/someone who would bring you in contact w/new people, issues, religions, etc."

someone who does nothing to hurt you,etc. "friends because you'd not have to worry about them betraying you,etc"

Initial Contact & Acquaintance
Casual Friendship
Close & Intimate Friendship

eros, ludus, storge, pragma, mania, apage

beauty and sexuality. attractiveness

entertainment and excitement

peaceful and slow

practical and traditional

elation and depression

compassionate and selfless (Jesus, Buddah)

relocation, gossip between other coworkers, different promotions

each knows what their obligations, priveleges, and responsibilities are

this allows families to get to know each other better: must be some history, some significant past interaction.

members see themselves as having certain obligations and responsiblities to each other. everyones obligations vary

usually share same primary living space

all teach rules for communication

forces you to examine a problem and work toward a potential solution

often leads to increased negative feelings, unfair fighting methods

content: centers on objects, events, and persons
relationships: equally numerous and include conflicts concerned with the relationships between individuals

influences topics people fight about, what is considered appropriate ways of dealing with conflict

men are more apt to withdraw from a conflict
women want to get closer to the conflict
boys are more aggressive., etc

Define the Conflict
Examine Possible Solutions
Test the Solution
Evaluate the Solution
Accept/Reject the Solution

may actually involve physical flight

special type of avoidance, you refuse to discuss conflict or to listen to other persons argument

conflict techniques that literally silence other individual (ex. crying)

force may be emotional or physical, the only real alternative to force- is talk

degrading someone else by using choice words

involves helping other person to maintain positive image

an unproductive interpersonal conflict strategy "hitting below the belt"

method of winning an argument by attacking persons' self-concept (inflicting psychological pain)

quality to be cultivated rather than avoided. ability to speak ones mind

more easily persuaded, more empathic, more interpersonally oriented and involved w/other people

more resistant to persuasion, more logical, more assertive and more controlling

the more a person needs a relationship, the less power that person has in it

when one person attacks the other by saying "youve got to be kidding" or some similar phrase

when someone refuses to acknowledge your request, regardless of how many times you make it

when someone does something for someone and then demands something in return

pattern of behavior that takes unfair advantage of another person. Power plays aim to rob you of your right to make your own choices. free of harrassment

when you have power because others wish to be like you or be identified with you

when you have legitimate power over others when they believe you have the right-by virtue or your position- to influence or control their behavior

you have expert power over others when they see you as having expertise or knowledge

when information and persuasion power over others when they see you as having the ability to communicate logically and persuasively

when you have reward power over other if you have the ability to reward them. you have coercive power over others when you have the ability to administer punishments or remove rewards should they not yeild to your influence

tactics that influence others to do what you want them to do

tactics that enable you to say no and to resist another persons attempt to influence you

hey since i helped you with english will you help me with biology

if you clean your room i promise ill take you to the movie

i promise you that if you will read 15 minutes from the book you'll do better on the test!

i have done so much for you this is the least you can do for me

kids cry until they get what they want