Speech v15-Chapter 8

expressed struggle that occurs when people cannot agree on a way to meet their needs or goals.

dependent on each other; one person's actions affects the other person.

way to describe conflict in an ordered range:

mild differences, disagreement, dispute, campaign, litigation, fight.

Pseudo conflict, simple conflict, ego conflict.

Individuals misunderstand each other.

individuals disagree over which action to pursue to achieve their goals.

individuals feel personally attacked.

Conflict is always a sign of poor interpersonal conflicts.

Conflict can always be avoided.

conflict always occurs because of misunderstandings.

conflict can always be resolved.

conflict that focuses on issues about the quality of the relationship and managing interpersonal tension and hostility.

conflict that centers on achieving a particular goal or task and less on relational issues.

sending an overly negative online message that personally attacks another person.

Prior conditions stage

Frustration awareness stage

active conflict stage

resolution stage

follow up stage

the stage is set up for conflict because of differences in the individuals actions or attitudes

one individual becomes aware that the differences are problematic and becomes frustrated and angry

the individuals communicate with each other about the differences; the conflict becomes an expressed struggle.

the individuals begin seeking ways to manage the conflict

the individuals examine their own feelings and check with each other to monitor whether both are satisfied with the resolution

conflict that helps build new insights and establishes new patterns in a relationship.

conflict that dismantles rather than strengthens relationships

consistent pattern or approach you use to mange disagreement with others.

conflict management style that involves backing off and trying to side step conflict

pattern in which one person makes a demand and the other person avoids conflict by changing the subject or walking away.

easily gives in to the demands of others; typically wants to be liked by others; a lose win approach to conflict

dominates the discussion and wants to accomplish the goal even at the expense of others; a win lose approach to conflict.

seeks the middle ground; will give up something to get something

a lose/win lose/ win approach to conflict

views conflict as a problem to be solved; negotiates to achieve a positive solution for all involved in the conflict.

a win win approach to conflict

Manage your emotions

Manage information

Be empathetic

Manage goals

Manage the problem

Be aware that you are angry or emotional

seek to understand why you are angry or emotional

make a conscious decision whether to express anger

select mutually acceptable time and place to discuss a conflict

plan your message

breathe

monitor nonverbal messages

avoide personal attacks

take time to establish rapport

use self talk

dredging up old problems and issues from the past to use against your partner

clearly describe the conflict producing events

own your statement by using I language

use effective listening skills

check your understanding of what others say and do

Define the problem

analyze the problem

determine the goals

generate multiple solutions

select the best solution

Take a time out

step to the side by asking questions and listening

change the frame by looking at a different point of view

build a golden bridge

make it hard to say no

self image or self respect that you and your partner seek to maintain