In Poland where her main language was Polish, Hoffman’s identity was firmly rooted in Polish culture. However, when she emigrates and is forced to speak English, she writes multiple times about how the new language is shattering her once solid identity. She describes the journey from Cracow to Canada to “scissors cutting a three- thousand-mile rip through [her] life.” (100) and says with sorrow, “From now on, my life will be divided into two parts” (100). Her original solid identity in her Polish self has been split in two as she struggles to accept that she must now recreate herself in a foreign place with a new language and culture. As Hoffman describes her experiences of learning to fit in, she speaks of how as each day passes and she improves her English, she loses a little piece of her past self. A specific passage that stood out to me was the one about the “spontaneous flow of inner language” (107) that filled her head at night before she slept. This was usually the time where she could think about what happened during the day and add the new experiences to her previous ones. However, she cannot have this internal dialogue with herself anymore because her interior Polish language has “shriveled from sheer uselessness” (107) and can no longer be used to describe her new English experiences because its words cannot …show more content…
When that language is halted, our expression is also stunted. Hoffman experiences this inability to express herself as she struggles to learn English, and eventually turns to writing as an alternative way of expression. However, rather than piecing together her old identity, she creates a new “written identity” through writing in her diary in English. When her friend gives her a diary, she chooses to write in English and says, “If I’m to write about the present, I have to write in the language of the present, even if it’s not the language of the self” (121). At this point, Hoffman knows that it is impossible to keep holding on to her old life and Polish identity. Thus, she creates a new persona and written self and soon, “this impersonal self, this cultural negative capability, becomes the truest thing about [her]” (121). When she writes about her new experiences in English, she is creating a new Eva who is completely different from the old Ewa all because the language is different. There are no longer “sentimental effusions of rejected love, eruptions of familial anger, or consoling broodings about death” in her writing because “English is not the language of such emotions” (121). Hoffman has lost the ability to express herself in the way she is familiar with in Polish and the emotions that she wants to write cannot be fully expressed in