Personal Narrative: My Second Language

Improved Essays
English is my second language. I came to the United States when I was 14 years old. I wrote the essay for four years already, but I still have had the difficult time with it. My great year in high school is my junior. Luckily, I have mrs. Courey, who taught me good lessons about grammar. I learned how to write preposition words, corrected run-on sentences and wrote a clear thesis statement. As a result, whenever I wrote essay, I believed I would get a good grade. However, this year is my unsuccessful year in English. I feel disappointed because of my writing skill. Thank you to Mrs. Gard was patient whenever she read my essay. Grammar is a structure of languages, and it is very difficult with many foreigner students write it correctly. The …show more content…
In “ Dogs and Cats” essay, I wrote, “ in Marine Corps, they have use as Bulldog, Doberman, or German Shepherd looking up the enemy’s location or weapon inside the house at the villains in Afghanistan or Iraq war.” In this sentence, I chose wrong preposition words such “looking up” and “the house at the villains”. Looking up means searching for something, and looking for means discovers something by you own. The word “at” means to stay inside the specific places, and “of” is belonging to someone. After I compared “ looking for” versus “looking up”, and “of” versus “at”, I changed the wrong sentence into the correct sentence. This is the new sentence, “ in the Marine Corps, they use Bulldogs, Dobermans or German Shepherds to looking for the enemy’s location or weapons inside the house of the enemy in Afghanistan or Iraq …show more content…
In the essay, “work is Better than Learning,” I missed lots of transition words when I changed positive ideas to negative ideas. In the first body paragraph, I talked about my friend, Sarah, who gave up her study to earn money. I wrote, “ she works at Safeway as a cashier, and works at an ice cream shop near her house as supervisor, but she does not have enough money to pay her daily costs. The food prices are rising so much every month.” The first time, when I turned the essay in, I thought it would be perfect, but I was wrong. The first sentence introduces Sarah’s occupations, and the second sentence says about the price of food, so the two sentences did not match the meaning with each other. For this reason, I need transition words, or conjunction words to separate theses sentences, so this is my new verson of two sentences, “ she works at Safeway as a cashier, and works at an ice cream shop near her house as supervisor, but she does not have enough money to pay her daily costs. In addition, the food prices are rising so much every

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