Writing Strength:
You have a strong thesis that clearly tells your readers your reasons for believing that two-career families are better than single-career families. Because your thesis previews what you will be arguing about in your essay, your readers know what to expect from your body paragraphs and can easily follow your argument. Well done, Diana!
*Diana 10441689, you requested help with Introduction/Conclusion:
Your introduction is missing some important background information about the issue of choosing between one-career and two-career families. Let’s take a look at how you start your introduction:
In the twenty first century, having both parents working is normal in America and whole word. Some people suggest that busy parents …show more content…
• Has there been a shift in trends toward two-career families?
• What could be driving any shift in trend or prevalence?
Provide more background information for your readers by answering any of these questions.
*Diana 10441689, you requested help with Sentence Structure:
Your essay has recurring errors in subject-verb agreement. There are several sentences where your verb and your subject (who or what you talk about) do not show number agreement, which can confuse your readers because they won’t know the number of the subjects you are talking about. Let’s take a look at this example from your essay:
On the other hand, in one career setting family, parent who stays at home gives a role model to his /her daughets and sons that in family somebody have to stay at home. ,that somebody needs to give up on career opportunity.
In this sentence, you paired the plural verb have with the singular noun somebody. Number agreement means that plural subjects go with plural verbs and singular subjects go with singular verbs, so you need to change the verb to match the subject. Take a look at these examples:
Singular: My daughter sings well.
Singular: Everyone wants some
You have a strong thesis that clearly tells your readers your reasons for believing that two-career families are better than single-career families. Because your thesis previews what you will be arguing about in your essay, your readers know what to expect from your body paragraphs and can easily follow your argument. Well done, Diana!
*Diana 10441689, you requested help with Introduction/Conclusion:
Your introduction is missing some important background information about the issue of choosing between one-career and two-career families. Let’s take a look at how you start your introduction:
In the twenty first century, having both parents working is normal in America and whole word. Some people suggest that busy parents …show more content…
• Has there been a shift in trends toward two-career families?
• What could be driving any shift in trend or prevalence?
Provide more background information for your readers by answering any of these questions.
*Diana 10441689, you requested help with Sentence Structure:
Your essay has recurring errors in subject-verb agreement. There are several sentences where your verb and your subject (who or what you talk about) do not show number agreement, which can confuse your readers because they won’t know the number of the subjects you are talking about. Let’s take a look at this example from your essay:
On the other hand, in one career setting family, parent who stays at home gives a role model to his /her daughets and sons that in family somebody have to stay at home. ,that somebody needs to give up on career opportunity.
In this sentence, you paired the plural verb have with the singular noun somebody. Number agreement means that plural subjects go with plural verbs and singular subjects go with singular verbs, so you need to change the verb to match the subject. Take a look at these examples:
Singular: My daughter sings well.
Singular: Everyone wants some