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26 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
Characteristics of a Friend |
Men and women both want the same features in friends - self disclosure, empathy, trust, support Men and women equally value casual conversation, egalitarianism as central to friendship & believe in fun and relaxation. Key difference - Activity - the focus of men Conversation - the focus of women |
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Furman & Burhmester - Female Disclosure |
Both males & females turn to females to self-disclose and share confidences. Also observe the pros and cons of same sex friendships, what they mean for men vs. women, and the nature of friendships + gender among gay and lesbian men & women (as discussed later) |
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Same Sex friendship Differences |
Females have closer same sex friendships than males. Not due to less of an ability to be intimate but to preference. Male friendship is more overtly competitive than female friendship. Homophobia - more prominent w/men. Men do not want to disclose emotions to other men because they do not want to be perceived as weak or "feminine" |
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Cross Sex Friendships |
Women - same sex closer than cross sex Men - cross-sex friendships more intimate + provide more emotional support Gains: Cross sex friendship functions provide emotional support, companionship, other sex perspective Challenges: friendship vs. romantic love, sexual attraction, equality, how others view, opportunity? |
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Gay men and friendships |
Smallest % of same sex friends |
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Lesbians and friendships |
Larger % of same sex friends but more difficulty w/boundary between friends and romantic relationships |
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Friendship across developmental periods |
Cross sex friends - rise in number from childhood to adolescence and peak in late adolescence/young adult Life events impact friendships. Retirement or death of a partner may impact mens' friendships more than women. |
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Expectations for intimate relationship |
Women under 40 expect it more than men After 40, the expectations of men and women become more similar This may be due to developmental/life tasks changing. Career, children in early relationships not later. Views differ when looking at older data (cross sectional vs. longitudinal) because perhaps traditions have changed. |
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Intimacy and gender/sexual orientation |
Trust - more important for women than men Standards - less likely fulfilled for women Dating scripts - For hetero/homo alike - grooming, nervousness, and a date activity are common/important. For heterosexual - Male initiates, female responds For Homosexual - more varied (Lesbian) evolve from friendship (Gay men) higher expectation for sex |
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Traits desirable in a Mate |
Attraction survey - has strengths and limitations issue in measurement - many studies are conducted with university students and/or those not currently in a relationship. Females list more traits for a potential mate than males If the female is more attractive than the male, fewer males will commit to relationships White women & black women - same man w/ steady job. Unattractive man ok. |
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Evolutionary Theory of Mate Choice |
Buss - Sexual infidelity more probable in males Emotional infidelity more probable in females - Not supported by research - Emotional infidelity more probable for BOTH |
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Social Role Theory of Mate Choice |
Not just physical attraction important Also good cook/housekeeper. There is a greater emphasis on this in more traditional countries Resources/attractiveness |
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Social Construction Theory of Mate Choice |
Norms of culture influences the traits viewed as desirable in a mate Support - cross cultural comparisons US/Israeli - physical appearance and personality important. However, in the US it is more important for mate to be similar to oneself and have status. US/China - same - honesty, sense of humour different - mate resources more important to a Chinese female, good "housekeeper" more important to male. |
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Types of love/love style/romantic beliefs |
Eros: passion Storge: friendship Pragma: practical Agape: alturistic Ludus: game playing/playfulness |
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Relationship maintenance - keeping a long term relationship going, gender differences |
Long term - women are less satisfied in marriage as compared to men Femininity = increase in relationship satisfaction When college students rated self as more feminine, partner also reported greater relationship satisfaction Man's emotional communication skills, if higher, increase woman's marital satisfaction |
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Gender attitudes about sex + sexual expectations |
1950s to present = significant increase in percent of sexually active unmarried women Role of sex in a developing relationship Men = recreational Women = relational After 1st time Women increase in attraction Men decrease in attraction Clark and Hatfield - a stranger asks for sex 75% of men say yes 0% of women say yes Women have more negative attitudes about sex |
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Traits to keep a relationship going |
- Positivity - Openness - Assurances of commitment - Network - Tasks |
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Power and relationships |
Difficult to study with a self report Difficult to define - there are many levels of dominance - overall dominance, dominance in separate aspects of the relationship, egalitarian Equity - sense of balance - equally beneficial aka "what you put into relationship = what you get out of it" Related to economic independence? A corollary of marital satisfaction |
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Conflict in Relationships |
Conflict styles - Men use avoidance, distraction to avoid escalation BUT if conflict occurs, they take control and use aggression. Women are more likely to confront wanting a resolution and get frustrated as a man is not engaging. Women are more experienced, often, in managing conflict verbally. Emotional skills, fighting fair. |
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Gay & Lesbian Intimate Relationship Myths |
Early research dispelled these myths - 1) relationships were unhappy or transient 2) gays/lesbians unhappy people w/low self esteem - generally not true. (do have greater anxiety when put into social context for obvious reasons). |
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Gay & Lesbian Desirable Mate Traits |
gay men - attractiveness in partner, moreso than hetero men. lesbians - partner resources not important satisfaction in relationship - no sex differences, all traits still important. gay men - fewer exclusive relationships than lesbians. sex importance, like hetero men. lesbians - more like hetero women - emotional intimacy is most important. equality in relationships more central (esp lesbians) greater use of affection and humour than hetero couples. |
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Cohabitation |
Refers to long term couples who live together without being married. Acceptance varies based on countries. Related to decline in marriage rate (duh) Associated w/ more divorce? depends on length of cohabitation. Slide vs. Decide (what?) |
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Limitations in Relationship Research |
- Other individual characteristics rarely taken into account - religious background, family of origin roles, changing values across time - Most studies are Cross Sectional - Impact of children, aging parents, job loss often not taken into account - more long term milestones. |
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Buss & Relationships |
Sex difference in impact of infidelity Sex difference - emotional vs. physical |
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Clark & Hatfield |
Sex with stranger study |
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Gottman |
Tolerance for arousal and use of affection/humor in gay couples |